I have two main passions – visual arts and dancing. I’ve been meddling with both since a child and today these two have become my work and my hobbies.
I love both and so it sometimes feels that both are suffering also, because I have not attached myself completely to just one in a sense that one becomes my work and the other one a hobby. As in, to become a painter who devotes most of their time to painting or a professional choreographer / dancer in the theater. Or a Sunday painter and a hobby-dancer, respectively. Perhaps this way of thinking comes from the fact that I have been accused of this “servicer of two gods” in my life. I got my higher education first in painting and then in dance and I’ve given my everything to both of them. Still a thought has been haunting me – either it is not enough, or I am not enough. Why?
Does this way of thinking come from ourselves or have we acquired these patterns of thinking from first our childhood and then from the teachers at school and later on from society? The paper from one school or another should give a person the courage to use the word “professional” with honor. Although I do remember how I was much more happy way before ever even knowing about schools or papers or grades my work got given.
I am grateful from the bottom of my heart to my mom and everyone else who have raised me through this given life, who guided and influenced me and who shared their knowledge with me. Thank you! And still, my two biggest teachers have been my two daughters Anna-Kalli and Õnne-Pai, who forced me to look inside myself to find this Creator without limits inside of me. Thanks to that I still work on myself and create by dancing and painting, and share my experiences with love.